Tag Archives: Russians

Half the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their class. And when a man with high fever lacks mental balance these docs say he is delirious. Yet when he lacks mental balance without the fever, he is pronounced insane by those ‘smart’ doctors… Indeed, something’s making us crazy…

Maybe I wasn’t asking the right question. I mean, I called the drug store in deep throaty despair and asked the pharmacist to prepare some antibiotics for me. I was dying. Okay, so we’re all dying. But my death was … Continue reading

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In war we don’t determine who is right, only who is left. In elections power belongs not to those who cast votes, but to those who count them. This can all be changed. But if you can’t change your mind you can’t change anything.

Here’s what I don’t understand – at least  about how we vote and fight wars: If we’re so smart, or at least evolved, how is it that we keep electing the same stupid people who keep sending our young men … Continue reading

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A lesson I learned from my dear ol’ Pappy: you give people a warning before you shoot them. It may just be precisely what G-d had in mind…

My dear bourbon sippin’ Pappy fired his .45 caliber Army pistol, shattering the still, late-night air. About 20 minutes later he did it again. I didn’t know what he was aiming to shoot. Without a moon there was nothing much … Continue reading

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Most everything is a lie. But so what? We’ve got to believe in something — as long as it makes us happy…. Now ain’t that the truth.

A ‘happy’ couple was visiting me one night. They wondered if I had brought home any of that great vodka from Russia where I was mostly working and living at the time. They chirped like mynah birds as they extolled … Continue reading

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Let’s get our soldiers to strip down to their Speedos and Victoria Secrets in Afghanistan and see if love and sex is more powerful than guns and bullets

When someone sticks his tongue into an electric socket, it doesn’t create a shocking opinion – it only demonstrates that stupidity never sleeps. Now I’m not here – just yet – to declare who was French kissing more stupidly: that … Continue reading

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