Tag Archives: San Francisco

Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…

The other night with all the Mother’s Day promotions stuffing my email inbox I sent my brudder-duh-heart-doc in San Francisco a short note. I know, I know… I must be getting old. But I do have my rare moments of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hell, this is enough to make me want to put a bar in the back of my car and drive myself to drink. For today I am an orphan. Tomorrow I’ll still be an S-O-B. But today I am going to drink into tomorrow and think about how the best woman I ever knew is now only in my yesterdays…

I immediately knew why my brother-duh-heart-doc was calling from his vacation trip in St. Petersburg, Russia… just as my cousin knew why I was calling her cell phone in the early morning. And why my cousin Bob surprisingly called me … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bambi has a profound effect on children – like me – because it’s about losing your mother. My ailing mother isn’t the only person begging to die. But right now she is the only person begging me. And I’m a coward. Hell, I am not afraid of dying. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

If I wasn’t a coward I would have put a pillow over my mother’s imploring face and ended her misery. My misery. Everyone’s misery. But the world is so complicated. So ripe with legalese. We can put an animal out … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Old age ain’t for sissies… You don’t stop laughing because you get old; you get old because you stop laughing. And then there is my wrinkled mother who has been wondering: ‘What am I doing here?’ And I told her: That’s the very same question most of us ask in the morning bathroom mirror…

Her question didn’t seem so odd or out of context to me. But it set the other folks surrounding Mom’s hospital bed to second-guessing. You know, stealing side-glances at each other with that suspicious brusque insight. That perhaps my ailing … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My 94-year-old Mother and I had a heart to bad heart talk over the holidays. And she still thinks I’m an SOB. And I couldn’t agree more…

My 94-year-old mother had a heart attack for the holiday season. And I got blamed for it. I mean I usually am held responsible for stuff like that. I would say it’s because I am Jewish. But then again, I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment