Tag Archives: State House

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. And promises are like crying babies in a theater: They should be carried out at once. For today is the tomorrow we weren’t promised yesterday. And if you don’t perform and vote I promise to whup you…

I don’t ever recall my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy telling me, just before he issued one of his many belt ‘whuppings,’ that ‘this is going to hurt me a whole lot worse than it’s going to hurt you.’ Uh-uh. … Continue reading

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Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery. You see how simple the law should be — for animal, mineral or vegetable…

When somebody I barely know asks – especially when it sounds like a regal, imperious demand — what do I do, I often reply, quite earnestly: I sell white women in Africa… And that, as they say, is often the … Continue reading

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It’s not my country anymore. I want it back! And I don’t care how we do it. Like the woman who stabbed her husband 37 times, I have to admire her restraint.

I was amused when a country club once informed me – in so many words – that I couldn’t join its registry. It has always been ludicrous. Consider that Groucho Marx was once told in southern California that he and … Continue reading

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Tipping makes no sense: Why do we tip Pierre $20 for bringing a $100 steak at night, but only tip Gertrude $2 for delivering a $10 plate of eggs in the morning? They’re performing the same services, aren’t they?

I never really mind bad service in a restaurant. It makes me feel much better about not leaving a tip. I know I am standing in a long viral line to spew some angst here, but I do have issues … Continue reading

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