Tag Archives: Stephanie Blatt

People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year…Or so I’ve read. Then again, when I woke up this morning my overnight mischief asked me if I slept good. ‘No,’ I said, ‘I made a few mistakes…’

I couldn’t figure out how to operate the high tech washing machine among the plethora of intimidating high tech gadgetry in my new push-button apartment. After years of low-tech Laundromats this gleaming Whirlpool was almost beatific. Looks like something you … Continue reading

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house…Hmm…Maybe it also means if you don’t change direction you may end up where you are heading…

I have decided – perhaps astutely, for a rare moment — not to become a matador. Hmm… This red-cape-dropping revelation is not only because — like journalists and lawyers — there are just too many toreros for too few swordy-coup-de-gras … Continue reading

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We all lie. Not just Lance or Te’o or Bush or Clinton… We lie because it beats the alternative… It’s never going to stop. Never!.. And then there is the troubled soul in the apartment below. He killed his cat and then came after me… Hmm… He definitely wasn’t lying…

The tall man from whom I rent his top floor has a big belly and small feet. So, it is common knowledge that he often has trouble keeping his balance – ‘mentally’ in particular. And there Pete was the other … Continue reading

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I was devastated when my son, my brother and my best friend didn’t invite me to their weddings. Now my nephew has. But I’m going to tell him I am not coming…because I wouldn’t know which side of the aisle to sit…Indeed, life has its defining moments…

I received a wedding invitation in the mail the other day from my nephew. And to be perfectly honest I don’t know what to reply. Nothing is ever a simple straight line, is it? The path to most answers is … Continue reading

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No man can be blamed for his father. That was completely his mother’s affair. And, if you don’t like the father you remember, then procure another one…Meanwhile, in the Halls of Justice, justice seems to remain out in the halls…

The other Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day, I was speaking on the phone with my mother. And suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, we were interrupted by a knock on her door at the Senior Citizen’s home. For you few who ain’t regular … Continue reading

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After nearly 90 days our uncivil government hasn’t managed to replace my stolen passport. Indeed government and hell is other people. And we get the government we deserve — for duh people…by duh people…and of duh (in)civil servants…

I deserve a Purple Heart medal. I have been mortally wounded in combat…Please, someone call a Medic. The woman I was passed along to was the supervisor – the head, the chief, the authority in charge, she said, of ‘the … Continue reading

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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. And this got me to thinking: Now that I am able to complete my own sentences it’s time to say something nice about my ex-wife…or would that be a mistake?

I would like to say something nice about my last ex-wife. Hmm… You know, the one: Stephanie Blatt. The green-eye She-Devil from the other side of midnight. The reason G-d made bourbon. The living proof that exorcism doesn’t work. And … Continue reading

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