Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…

The other night with all the Mother’s Day promotions stuffing my email inbox I sent my brudder-duh-heart-doc in San Francisco a short note. I know, I know… I must be getting old. But I do have my rare moments of … Continue reading

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Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading

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Potty training is supposed to happen at home. So why is the government, the police, our lawyers and our courts still shitting on us in public? If everybody forgets to tell the truth what is the purpose of the police and witnesses. And if the courts forget its purpose is to reform as well as punish, then why this charade? Obviously we need to spill blood… because sad people remember the laws of G-d and man more than happy ones…

The other Thursday I decided to have a real-old-fashion Thanksgiving celebration — like the Pilgrims and the Indians. So I prepared a feast for my neighbors and friends. We ate. We toasted. We consummated with a few squaws. And then … Continue reading

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Unless you are a sadomasochist the Golden Rule is all there needs to be. Everything else is merely commentary. And every religious plagiarist since the beginning says so. So why do we continue to “screw for virginity?…”

Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? Take the money? And walk out the door? Actually, I did. But then my mental calculator recognized that something didn’t add up right? So I reworked the cerebral debate. And my conscience … Continue reading

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Next to the circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out of town any quicker than the Christmas spirit. But commercially speaking, if there wasn’t Xmas we’d have to invent it — even if we do forget its true meaning: you know, the birth of Santa

When my last ex-wife and I would celebrate Christmas – and Chanukah – I would plead with her each and every year NOT to buy more gifts for the kids than could fill a supertanker. At least keep the massive … Continue reading

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The secret to life is birthdays: the more you have the longer you live. And my mother has now lived for 91 years. Her secret? Like the weather, there is nothing you can really do about it. Just keep the rust off and don’t expire like something in the refrigerator…

I first met my mother when she was around 30. It was during a February blizzard in the Pennsylvania dirt-road countryside. Due to our country doctor’s miscalculation, I arrived six weeks late. And I’ve been making up that for lost … Continue reading

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