Tag Archives: tsunami

I want to be buried with a mobile phone, so I can get in the last word…Besides, the cell phone is a good way to talk to people without having to buy them a drink…And now my new phone actually ‘demands!’ that I articulate clearly and not mumble. Hmm…The rain in Spain falls mainly and plainly on eating my girlfriend for dinner?

A few years back when I had my evening drive-time radio talk show, an elocution expert called me on air one evening. She insisted that I needed ‘coaching.’  Desperately. Apparently I mumbled and chopped words so badly she thought I … Continue reading

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Man may have used his intelligence to invent stupidity, but his body’s natural evolutionary instincts keep him alive in spite of himself. Let’s start with deep water….

My father built the fire pond after his chain saw factory burned down when the fire trucks ran out of water. But he told my mother, a wonderful swimmer, that he built it for her — because she looked like … Continue reading

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Most everything is a lie. But so what? We’ve got to believe in something — as long as it makes us happy…. Now ain’t that the truth.

A ‘happy’ couple was visiting me one night. They wondered if I had brought home any of that great vodka from Russia where I was mostly working and living at the time. They chirped like mynah birds as they extolled … Continue reading

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