Tag Archives: Vietnam

A rich friend won’t report his wife’s stolen credit cards because the thief spends less than she does… I don’t worry about someone stealing my identity because no one wants to be me… Prometheus’ stealing fire is viewed as the foundation of all of man’s technologies. And then there was this marijuana cartel who wanted me to fly for them… for a steal!

I have trouble with stealing. Even though in yesterday’s, today’s and no doubt tomorrow’s world lying, stealing and cheating are pretty much common place. And I don’t wanna talk about my last ex-wife. Sheesh. She even stole my bad ideas, … Continue reading

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If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

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A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. But the trouble is most of us are too fat to run. These days most everything we put into our mouths makes us fat. And what comes out of our mouths is fatuous. Indeed, what we eat in private shows in public…

I can honestly say that I have never told a woman that she is ‘fat, ugly, dumb and stupid’ – even if she was sooo fat and ugly that when she threw a boomerang it refused to come back. However, … Continue reading

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Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re … Continue reading

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It’s impossible to get a conversation going these days. Everybody talks too much… and says too little. The Paris climate talks were a waste of oxygen. Everybody’s accusing The Donald of using up all the oxygen in the room. And meanwhile we have yet to deprive the ‘terrorists’ of their oxygen. It’s time to take a breather – grab your oxygen masks…

Back long before puberty and even a few years before I began dousing my breakfast coffee with bourbon I used to listen as the morning news reports interrupted the popular music playing on our small town local radio station. And … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Will somebody please inform me who is in charge these days? Because I’m ready to follow Joan of Arc. At least women and children seem to accept that uncertainty is part of the taking charge process. Nobody claimed it isn’t hard to lead a cavalry charge — especially if you think you look funny on a horse.

As more than one disillusioned idealist has uttered: If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand. But my trouble is finding out just who is in charge … Continue reading

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I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people — that’s why I don’t like most of them. I like to call everyone I find more than a tad annoying a sociopath. And when you have an alleged sociopath adjudging on a State Supreme Court then Justice is to be found only in the imagination…

Hmm… As an incipient young journalist when I walked into a courtroom I felt like I was walking into a cathedral. But it didn’t take long to disavow any such notion. And to realize it was more like walking into … Continue reading

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Waging war is much easier than keeping the peace… And in Afghanistan, where for thousands of years empires went to die, no one understood their past, nor listened to what they wanted for future peace… Or so I was told by a young vet about to be committed to the war of marriage…

At first they seemed like just three ordinary young guys when they ambled into the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philadelphia the other night. Then again most people seem run-of-the-mill at first. Their haircuts were cropped neat and tidy — … Continue reading

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Judgment usually comes from experience. And experience often comes from bad judgment. The real war is not between East and West – it is between intelligent and stoopid people. Circumstances cause us to act the way we do. Keep that in mind before stupidly pre-judging the actions of POW Bergdahl…

A law professor friend once instructed me in the chicanery of legal sophistry this way: If you have the law on your side, pound the law; if the facts are on your side pound the facts; but if neither are … Continue reading

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