Tag Archives: war

If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

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Old age ain’t for sissies… You don’t stop laughing because you get old; you get old because you stop laughing. And then there is my wrinkled mother who has been wondering: ‘What am I doing here?’ And I told her: That’s the very same question most of us ask in the morning bathroom mirror…

Her question didn’t seem so odd or out of context to me. But it set the other folks surrounding Mom’s hospital bed to second-guessing. You know, stealing side-glances at each other with that suspicious brusque insight. That perhaps my ailing … Continue reading

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When I am in a bad mood I don’t listen. And all of us have pretty serious mood swings. Fear may be the mother of morality. But evidence is accumulating that the relatively tiny doses of lithium in our ground water does improve our moods. So let’s add some more…

I was conversing with a group of psychiatrists the other day when they all got around to nodding and smiling like a bunch of fraternity pranksters. They were giddy at the idea of adding more lithium to our water reservoir … Continue reading

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No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, but by making the other dumb bastard die for ‘his.’ The crueler war is, the sooner it is over. We have war when at least one of the conflicting parties wants something more than it wants peace. Yet any unjust peace is better than a just war…

The question I have been both asked and posed as we embark on yet another war is what would you do to those degenerates and their supporting cast of ISIS scumbags who beheaded those journalists and barbarously executed hundreds of … Continue reading

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When will the Hamas also learn: That life is never fair, and perhaps that’s a good thing for most of us that it is not. That truth exists; only lies are invented. And to beware of the wrath of a patient man. As my dear ol’ Pappy exclaimed: ‘Fair?! The only fare I know is what I pay to ride the bus!’ And dats duh truth…

My dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to beat us. Rather regularly. My older brother-duh-doc and me. And sometimes the beatings could be rather innovative. Now remember, this was post WWII when many fathers – and even mothers — offered … Continue reading

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Why do we kill people who are killing people to show that killing people is wrong? Hmm…certainly, the murder of civilians for political statement did not begin with 911… I have killed – in self defense. The first time my greatest fear was not of being killed, but having to kill someone else. Then I got used to it…

A policeman-friend, who has seen way too many butchered corpses, exhaled a puff of cigar smoke through a mischievous smile as he plaintively lamented that killings in Philadelphia were down this year.  “I hope they pick up,” said the Crime … Continue reading

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There’s a time and place for everything. Love has its place, as does hate. So does peace, as does war. And mercy vies with cruelty and revenge. What I am saying is that it’s far easier to forgive an enemy after you’ve put him in his place. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. So let’s bomb Syria!

Let’s all – as in A-L-L — us Jews and Christians and Muslims and Buddhists and Hindus… and all the rest of us fellow pious hypocrites and atheists get something ramrod straighter than we would — even on Viagra: Yes, … Continue reading

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