Tag Archives: weapons of mass destruction

Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading

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Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

So, who can I blame for having so many exes? I guess I should have learned more from watching the farm animals, as well as listening to Edward Snowden. Hmm…. Anyway, blame is for G-d and small children. After all, … Continue reading

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It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to be believable. And the government expects us to believe their ‘strange truth’… that it is ONLY doing what they say they are only doing – even AFTER the whistle is blown. Their ‘truth’ is yet another strange reason of why I drink…heavily.

I am going back to drinking… Heavily… Prune juice and Viagra… What duh hell; what duh heck. In these days of government lies, deceits and so many cheats, I don’t know if I am coming or going, anyway. Hmm… My … Continue reading

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We all lie. Not just Lance or Te’o or Bush or Clinton… We lie because it beats the alternative… It’s never going to stop. Never!.. And then there is the troubled soul in the apartment below. He killed his cat and then came after me… Hmm… He definitely wasn’t lying…

The tall man from whom I rent his top floor has a big belly and small feet. So, it is common knowledge that he often has trouble keeping his balance – ‘mentally’ in particular. And there Pete was the other … Continue reading

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In this national emotional whirlpool of guns, Newtown slaughter, movies of Osama’s noble revenge and torturing evil men let me warn you: Fear rules! Fear makes strangers of folks who would be friends. The greater the fear the more government controls you, me and everything…

One time a few years back in West Africa we got caught in a bit of a fire fight. These very unsophisticated-looking, unsmiling fellows were shooting and throwing pointy things at us. And it was no use trying to convince … Continue reading

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Why is it always easier to fix the blame rather than the problem? Like with the Doctor, the Nurse and the pending doom of December 21st… Sometimes stuff just happens… Is there anything you can do about the weather?…

I guess I have to blame my long dead bourbon sippin’ pappy for that great sex life I can only remember. Between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe he both excoriated and exhorted me. He growled that … Continue reading

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I move so fast that when I turn out the lights I am in bed before the room gets dark. Contrary to a popular bumper sticker: Speed don’t kill. Only stupidity… And then there was the man who fell to earth faster than the speed of sound…

A few of the times I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane I thought it would help speed me to wherever I was going in record time. And isn’t that just like America: We’re a country that doesn’t know … Continue reading

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Most folks live to have resumès, instead of having resumès because they lived…Most resumès ain’t nothing but lies that nobody bothers to read anymore — and not just because there ain’t no jobs…And then along came not-quite-5-year-old Andrew who asked me to help write his resumè…Oy-vey-iz-mir!

I think on my resumè, which I have never finished nor submitted anywhere, it still says that I can juggle while driving my ex-wives mad; am working on a cure for mental halitosis and teenagers; am totally politically-incorrect and a … Continue reading

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Promises are made to be broken…The only thing a man can both give and keep is his word. His word is his truth, his honor…his everything… The first casualty of any war is truth… After that it is all madness… Elections are war…

Folks who don’t know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. Elections are supposedly when people find out what politicians stand for. But it is more likely when politicians find out what people … Continue reading

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Just like Anthony, a man may not know he is a fool…unless he’s got a wife to remind him not to fall in love with his latest piece of high tech equipment. For one thing: You can’t sleep with it.

Anthony Renzulli, the zany proprietor of “The best cigar shop in South Philadelphia,” knew he’d have to answer to his wife, Marie, for his latest purchase. And answering to that fiery blaze of bodacious pulchritude, even when she isn’t armed … Continue reading

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