Tag Archives: wife

Old age is like everything else — to make a success of it you’ve got to start young. The real sadness of ‘old’ age isn’t that you change so much, it’s that you change so little… Hmm… It is said that a man is as old as he feels and a woman is as old as she looks. Well, this weekend I’m gonna find out…

I received a summons to North Carolina the other week. It’s for a reunion and state awards ceremony this coming weekend at UNC in Chapel Hill involving some folks I practically started out with in journalism. Back when we were … Continue reading

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Being on steroids makes you manic. Being in bed too long makes me horny. And I’ve been in bed on steroids for 10 days. So I am bloody nuclear! And here is what I figured out to do to save ourselves… and America: Maybe I ought to run for President — like just about everybody else. So pray for me…

Back a few too many decades ago when I was about four, I lay dying in a hospital bed in a small mill town. For weeks. The docs had absolutely no idea what was wrong. Nevertheless, they did what they … Continue reading

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I was devastated when my son, my brother and my best friend didn’t invite me to their weddings. Now my nephew has. But I’m going to tell him I am not coming…because I wouldn’t know which side of the aisle to sit…Indeed, life has its defining moments…

I received a wedding invitation in the mail the other day from my nephew. And to be perfectly honest I don’t know what to reply. Nothing is ever a simple straight line, is it? The path to most answers is … Continue reading

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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. And this got me to thinking: Now that I am able to complete my own sentences it’s time to say something nice about my ex-wife…or would that be a mistake?

I would like to say something nice about my last ex-wife. Hmm… You know, the one: Stephanie Blatt. The green-eye She-Devil from the other side of midnight. The reason G-d made bourbon. The living proof that exorcism doesn’t work. And … Continue reading

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Even with our haircuts in America most of us don’t get what we ask for and pay for, we get clipped the way some beautiful woman decides she wants us to look.

Few of us get what we want. The rest of us get what comes. And I got Gary, this handsome Italian cop from South Philly (now that’s redundant) deciding I should come with him and get my bushy mangle of … Continue reading

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I hate that my cruel, unfair, brutal, mean father was obviously correct about how to raise children. Afterall, look at my brother……and me

One afternoon, many full moons ago, my older brother telephoned our dear ol’ Pappy. Brian wanted to impart, to our my-way-or-the-highway father, that June, his wife, was less than nine months away from bequeathing the in-laws its first grandchild. More … Continue reading

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I can’t help myself: I am cursing. I am stoned. I am armed. And I am heading off to Washington. And no one can stop me because I am perfectly legal

What I want to obtain from my doctor is a written medical opinion which stipulates I have been diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome. Therefore, under the American Disability Act, I simply can’t help myself  — for cursing. At everything. At anytime. … Continue reading

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