Tag Archives: Philadelphia

Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…

The skinny guy was about two feet from the top of climbing the 30-foot greased pole. He was part of a team of other skinny guys with tattoos, climbing over each other, groping and hoping to get to the prizes … Continue reading

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Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…

Trev collapsed into the cushy chair and exhaled a long satisfied pillar of smoke from his cigar. And while it formed a cumulus cloud of contentment over his exhausted, shaved head he simply uttered: “Well, I did my job…” When … Continue reading

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Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one up. In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to love… but us ‘old men’ turn to painting the house. I may not be perfect, but I am avid – about not giving a damn. After all, as I told my mammoth, cigar-puffing, Italian landlord: Look what ‘youse’ guys did to that last Jewish carpenter…

My landlord warned me. Then again, my over-sized, South Philadelphia, Italian landlord and I have a rather pedestrian relationship. That is, as long as I pay the rent, he allows me to live where I live. And enjoy breathing. Which … Continue reading

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Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…

Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading

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Old age is like everything else — to make a success of it you’ve got to start young. The real sadness of ‘old’ age isn’t that you change so much, it’s that you change so little… Hmm… It is said that a man is as old as he feels and a woman is as old as she looks. Well, this weekend I’m gonna find out…

I received a summons to North Carolina the other week. It’s for a reunion and state awards ceremony this coming weekend at UNC in Chapel Hill involving some folks I practically started out with in journalism. Back when we were … Continue reading

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News Flash: The good wolf and the evil wolf engaged in a mortal battle to the death. Day and night they ripped and tore at each other’s flesh. Hmm… This is not a fake news story. Just like Trump is President and you’re not… Soooo, guess who won?

Maybe it didn’t quite happen that way… But this is just the way I remember it. During a beer break from the storm of Trump’s denials — of any Russian connections, as well as everybody but Trump’s denial of any … Continue reading

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We usually don’t get what we want, but what comes. And what’s-a-coming in a few days is troubling. Then again, like my venerable Louisiana cousin recently informed me: ‘Trouble is the nature of all things. We can’t help ourselves. Hell, even a fish wouldn’t get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut.’ Sooo… let’s make trouble… and vote like me… and Jerry.

There was a scream. It shattered the still, midnight air. And pierced the emptiness everywhere. The shriek boiled over like the howling of an urgent train whistle. But no police sirens followed. No neighbors flipped on their lights, or gathered … Continue reading

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