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- I am not here to grieve Larry’s death, but to thank G-d that such a man lived. Indeed, the timing of his demise, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. And obviously, true wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us…
- Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…
- Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…
- Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…
- Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…
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Tag Archives: South Philadelphia
A rich friend won’t report his wife’s stolen credit cards because the thief spends less than she does… I don’t worry about someone stealing my identity because no one wants to be me… Prometheus’ stealing fire is viewed as the foundation of all of man’s technologies. And then there was this marijuana cartel who wanted me to fly for them… for a steal!
I have trouble with stealing. Even though in yesterday’s, today’s and no doubt tomorrow’s world lying, stealing and cheating are pretty much common place. And I don’t wanna talk about my last ex-wife. Sheesh. She even stole my bad ideas, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Columbia, East coast, FedEx, football, French, Hillary, Hudson, marijuana, New York, NFL, Philadelphia, Philadelphia eagles, pilots, Proudhon, South America, South Philadelphia, The Donald, Twin Smoke Shoppe, UPS, Vietnam, Wall
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A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. But the trouble is most of us are too fat to run. These days most everything we put into our mouths makes us fat. And what comes out of our mouths is fatuous. Indeed, what we eat in private shows in public…
I can honestly say that I have never told a woman that she is ‘fat, ugly, dumb and stupid’ – even if she was sooo fat and ugly that when she threw a boomerang it refused to come back. However, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged beauty, Big Pharma, cancer, cigar, dentist, Dunkin'Donuts, fat, heart, hijabs, Italian, Jennifer Lopez, Muslim, South Philadelphia, suicide, tattoos, Twin Smoke Shoppe, Vietnam
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Ours is a government of checks and balances — the crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. Hmm… What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. Or perhaps more deaths by firing squads…
In the 40 year old movie Chinatown the crusty evil character (played by the celebrated director John Huston) who robbed and pillaged and murdered his way to fortune — not to mention fathered another daughter by raping his own daughter … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Abel, Armenian, Attorney General, Bakker, cancer, Caom, Chinatown, city council, Cleveland, criminal, Democrats, Dennis Hastert, District Attorney, DNA, Egypt, Egyptian, genocide, Grant, Illinois, Jesus, Mohamed Morsi, money, NAACP, Newt Gingrich, Old Testament, parking ticket, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, politician, politicians, Putin, Republicans, respectable, Russia, search warrant, South Philadelphia, Speaker of the House, sting, Tom Foley, Turks, Washington, White House, white woman, whores, women, wrestling
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The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism… But the trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. So to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. And then there was the cop who came into the cigar shop… complaining…
The other day a police officer, with whom I wasn’t familiar, strolled into the South Philadelphia cigar shop where I regularly puff… and started complaining. Which isn’t unusual among most folks. Even the regulars at Anthony’s Twin Smoke Shoppe. As … Continue reading
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Tagged America, arbitrated, Civil rights, Cleveland, cops, criticism, Ferguson, FOP, Fraternal Order of Police, Mo., New Year, New York, Ohio, opera, Philadelphia, Philadelphia eagles, police, protect and serve, protest, Santa, South Philadelphia, Staten Island, symphony, Tchaikovsky, Twin Smoke Shoppe, tyranny, Verdi, voting, Walmart
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Waging war is much easier than keeping the peace… And in Afghanistan, where for thousands of years empires went to die, no one understood their past, nor listened to what they wanted for future peace… Or so I was told by a young vet about to be committed to the war of marriage…
At first they seemed like just three ordinary young guys when they ambled into the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philadelphia the other night. Then again most people seem run-of-the-mill at first. Their haircuts were cropped neat and tidy — … Continue reading
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Tagged Afghanistan, Argentina, Army, bourbon, Chester County, cigars, fireman, Germantown, Hamas, helicopters, Iraq, israeli, Italian, Jewish, marriage, married, paintball, Philadelphia, scud missile, South Philadelphia, Taliban, Twin smok Shoppe, Vietnam
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When I run into a closed-minded dimwit I think: There’s one more argument for birth control. The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute talk with the average voter. The aim of an argument isn’t victory, but progress. And then there’s my argument with Gene, as well as the Redskins…
He wouldn’t stop. And I — the target of his sophomoric, disparaging, ‘anti-semantic’ spew — wasn’t the only one in the cigar shop more than a tad ‘not-amused’. After a couple of months a couple of others who were finally … Continue reading
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Tagged American Indians, argument, assumptions, Blacks, bounty, brothel, Chinese, Dan Snyder, democracy, disparaging, England, Erik Brady, gas, geometry, Grumpy's, hispanics, Indians, Italian, Jack Kent Cooke, Jew, journalist, Koreans, NFL, Redskins, scalps, South Philadelphia, Trademark Trial and Appeal oard of the United States Patent and Trademark Office, trademarks, Twin Smoke Shoppe, USAToday, Washington
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If you’re playing a poker game and can’t tell who the sucker is around the table — it’s you. Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich – something for nothing. And Atlantic City is like a crab, crawling backward in search of the ocean… and missing! And now back to being Gay…
One night under the low lights of a noisy tavern this young, vivacious woman with laughing eyes from Texas was explaining how she had logically, strategically and mathematically determined to move from Dallas to Philadelphia. That is instead of some … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Asbury Park, Atlantic City, blackjack, boardwalk, Boardwalk empire, casino, cigars, Dallas, Delaware, Fort Lauderdale, gay, gay marriage, horse, Las Vegas, lesbian, LGBT, Monopoly, Mother Teresa, New ersey, New York, nude, Park Place, Philadelphia, poker, Provincetown, rehoboth, salt water taffy, South Philadelphia, Steele Pier, Stonewall, TV, Twin Shoppe, viagra, World's Playground, WWII
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No matter how smart you are you spend much of your day being an idiot. Hmm… I hate to advocate cigars, alcohol, drugs or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me. Self-righteousness has killed more people than smoking. So why is the government minding Grumpy’s business?…
Besides too much reading, writing and over-exercising, two other vital activities that keep me from killing assholes are drinking — perhaps a tad more than a tad less — and smoking cigars. Do you think five or six a day … Continue reading
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Tagged allopurinol, America, AWOL, cigars, communist, Department of Licenses & Inspections, election, Europe, exercise, gout, government, Grumpy's, law, license, Liquor Control Board, mental health, pharmacy, Philadelphia, prescription, public school, puritan, rheumatism, smoking, South Philadelphia, Southeast asia, steroid, tattoo, taxes, vote
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