Tag Archives: South Philadelphia

A rich friend won’t report his wife’s stolen credit cards because the thief spends less than she does… I don’t worry about someone stealing my identity because no one wants to be me… Prometheus’ stealing fire is viewed as the foundation of all of man’s technologies. And then there was this marijuana cartel who wanted me to fly for them… for a steal!

I have trouble with stealing. Even though in yesterday’s, today’s and no doubt tomorrow’s world lying, stealing and cheating are pretty much common place. And I don’t wanna talk about my last ex-wife. Sheesh. She even stole my bad ideas, … Continue reading

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A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. But the trouble is most of us are too fat to run. These days most everything we put into our mouths makes us fat. And what comes out of our mouths is fatuous. Indeed, what we eat in private shows in public…

I can honestly say that I have never told a woman that she is ‘fat, ugly, dumb and stupid’ – even if she was sooo fat and ugly that when she threw a boomerang it refused to come back. However, … Continue reading

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Ours is a government of checks and balances — the crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. Hmm… What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. Or perhaps more deaths by firing squads…

In the 40 year old movie Chinatown the crusty evil character (played by the celebrated director John Huston) who robbed and pillaged and murdered his way to fortune — not to mention fathered another daughter by raping his own daughter … Continue reading

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The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism… But the trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. So to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. And then there was the cop who came into the cigar shop… complaining…

The other day a police officer, with whom I wasn’t familiar, strolled into the South Philadelphia cigar shop where I regularly puff… and started complaining. Which isn’t unusual among most folks. Even the regulars at Anthony’s Twin Smoke Shoppe. As … Continue reading

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As long as enough people can be frightened, then all people can be ruled. Fear becomes the ticket to destroy our rights. We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them. And panic kills. And staying in a state of fear about Ebola leads to panic. In the end Luca’s fears caused him to eat himself to death…

I spotted Luca’s gigantic mitt of stubby fingers reaching out to snatch the plate of tastykake crumpets, one of the grandest junk-food sweet cakes on the planet. And immediately I quick-stepped across the small room of cigar smokers… and punched … Continue reading

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Waging war is much easier than keeping the peace… And in Afghanistan, where for thousands of years empires went to die, no one understood their past, nor listened to what they wanted for future peace… Or so I was told by a young vet about to be committed to the war of marriage…

At first they seemed like just three ordinary young guys when they ambled into the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philadelphia the other night. Then again most people seem run-of-the-mill at first. Their haircuts were cropped neat and tidy — … Continue reading

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When I run into a closed-minded dimwit I think: There’s one more argument for birth control. The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute talk with the average voter. The aim of an argument isn’t victory, but progress. And then there’s my argument with Gene, as well as the Redskins…

He wouldn’t stop. And I — the target of his sophomoric, disparaging, ‘anti-semantic’ spew — wasn’t the only one in the cigar shop more than a tad ‘not-amused’. After a couple of months a couple of others who were finally … Continue reading

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