Tag Archives: Jewish

Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…

The skinny guy was about two feet from the top of climbing the 30-foot greased pole. He was part of a team of other skinny guys with tattoos, climbing over each other, groping and hoping to get to the prizes … Continue reading

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Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one up. In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to love… but us ‘old men’ turn to painting the house. I may not be perfect, but I am avid – about not giving a damn. After all, as I told my mammoth, cigar-puffing, Italian landlord: Look what ‘youse’ guys did to that last Jewish carpenter…

My landlord warned me. Then again, my over-sized, South Philadelphia, Italian landlord and I have a rather pedestrian relationship. That is, as long as I pay the rent, he allows me to live where I live. And enjoy breathing. Which … Continue reading

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I don’t do guilt. I definitely don’t embrace collective guilt when we should be implementing collective responsibility. Guilt is like bondage. It is a thief… it robs from your life. It doesn’t garner my sympathy, especially because ‘sympathy’ in my dictionary is located between shit and syphilis…

I have more than a wee bit of trouble with people who just refuse to listen. Like in politics, or with bad spouses. I mean, no one is as deaf as a person who will not listen. As if they … Continue reading

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Plans are wasted; but planning is everything. And in a troubled world where we are paying more but getting less, we are pissed. But the real problem is we are lying hypocrites. We feel entitled. We pray on Sunday morning then rage on the road driving home. And United Airlines and Wells Fargo merely did unto us what we do unto others…

I don’t know how my father learned how to be the boss in starting and running his little chainsaw factory that, at times when contracts were due, employed a hundred men and women in those post-war labor-intensive days. Perhaps it … Continue reading

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Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading

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As you get older it’s harder to have heroes, but it is sort of necessary… I guess. But just because I ‘accidentally’ saved the chief’s life, shouldn’t have made me his hero. And then he offered me his daughter. Oy-vey! Heroes don’t get wives, they get all duh women… don’t they? Sooo, what is a hero?

One time, a lot of years back, in West Africa, after a rather raucous conflict that involved shooting people who were spraying bullets and other harmful objects our way, a tribal chief tried to reward me with one of his … Continue reading

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We all love a great party. But afterwards we are still stuck with cleaning up the mess. Just like the GOP and Democrats, and now the Olympics, have been throwing us some grand par-tees! But tomorrow we’re still stuck with yesterday’s mess. Think about that when you cast your ballots in November…

When I was a columnist in North Carolina every New Year’s Eve I would throw a par-tee! My house and back yard became known far and wide for this and a spring bash. Sex, drugs and rock and roll. Food, … Continue reading

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