Tag Archives: President

News Flash: The good wolf and the evil wolf engaged in a mortal battle to the death. Day and night they ripped and tore at each other’s flesh. Hmm… This is not a fake news story. Just like Trump is President and you’re not… Soooo, guess who won?

Maybe it didn’t quite happen that way… But this is just the way I remember it. During a beer break from the storm of Trump’s denials — of any Russian connections, as well as everybody but Trump’s denial of any … Continue reading

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Why do I need a prescription to get stuff that will make me healthy, but I don’t need any sort of permission for stuff that will kill me? Hmm… When religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, we mistake medicine for magic. Yet, medicine has its dark side – like death…

Unless you get lost from time to time you can never find yourself. And the other day I got ‘lost’ while biking in an unfamiliar part of the city. And I finally found myself at a Rite Aid pharmacy… with … Continue reading

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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence and insanity to anyone, but it sure works for me. And with this Presidential election the risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. I have my serious doubts about The Donald. But I seriously doubt I could ever vote for Hillary…

Having spent many of my formative years in my grandmother’s ‘brothel’ I thought I had seen or heard just about everything a mouth could do. Obviously that was before I saw and heard the ‘doings’ from the mouths of Hillary … Continue reading

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Being on steroids makes you manic. Being in bed too long makes me horny. And I’ve been in bed on steroids for 10 days. So I am bloody nuclear! And here is what I figured out to do to save ourselves… and America: Maybe I ought to run for President — like just about everybody else. So pray for me…

Back a few too many decades ago when I was about four, I lay dying in a hospital bed in a small mill town. For weeks. The docs had absolutely no idea what was wrong. Nevertheless, they did what they … Continue reading

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The reason I don’t own a gun is that I would use it… often. The reason liberal Sean doesn’t own a gun is because he ain’t right in the head. The reason neo-con Louie doesn’t have a gun is just too convoluted. Hmm… Most of ‘neutral’ Switzerland owns a gun or two, and they barely have any crime… No shit!…

We all agreed: Something has got to be done. Oy-vey-iz-mir. Trouble is we couldn’t agree on just what that something was. Sort of like Congress. We were enemies… instead of folks with merely different intellectual points of view trying to … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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I’ve got to start watching more porno. I mean, unlike life, everybody seems to be enjoying themselves – no matter how they’re getting f-ked. And meanwhile I think I’ve figured out why jihad ‘martyrs’ want virgins in heaven…

I have always wondered why Muslim jihadist ‘martyrs’ desperately want 72 virgins as part of their reward in heaven. And now in the wake of their savage Paris slaughter of journalists and others at the Charlie Hebdo satirical magazine I … Continue reading

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Potty training is supposed to happen at home. So why is the government, the police, our lawyers and our courts still shitting on us in public? If everybody forgets to tell the truth what is the purpose of the police and witnesses. And if the courts forget its purpose is to reform as well as punish, then why this charade? Obviously we need to spill blood… because sad people remember the laws of G-d and man more than happy ones…

The other Thursday I decided to have a real-old-fashion Thanksgiving celebration — like the Pilgrims and the Indians. So I prepared a feast for my neighbors and friends. We ate. We toasted. We consummated with a few squaws. And then … Continue reading

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Will somebody please inform me who is in charge these days? Because I’m ready to follow Joan of Arc. At least women and children seem to accept that uncertainty is part of the taking charge process. Nobody claimed it isn’t hard to lead a cavalry charge — especially if you think you look funny on a horse.

As more than one disillusioned idealist has uttered: If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand. But my trouble is finding out just who is in charge … Continue reading

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Since we already know that everybody lies, why do journalists risk their lives to tell us what we already know? Because that’s what we do. And we’d do it even if we weren’t getting paid to tell you that you are stoopid, ignorant and foolish. Because it is so much fun, even after the deadline…

The question being shrilly postured and posed today in the horrendous wake of yet two more journalists being beheaded is: Why do reporters take such risks? And I have a simple answer: Because everybody lies. Everybody. It is almost failsafe … Continue reading

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