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- I am not here to grieve Larry’s death, but to thank G-d that such a man lived. Indeed, the timing of his demise, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. And obviously, true wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us…
- Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…
- Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…
- Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…
- Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…
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Tag Archives: President
News Flash: The good wolf and the evil wolf engaged in a mortal battle to the death. Day and night they ripped and tore at each other’s flesh. Hmm… This is not a fake news story. Just like Trump is President and you’re not… Soooo, guess who won?
Maybe it didn’t quite happen that way… But this is just the way I remember it. During a beer break from the storm of Trump’s denials — of any Russian connections, as well as everybody but Trump’s denial of any … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged alternate truth, America, beer, Bruce Banner, Democrat, Donald, football, green, Grumpy's, Hillary, Hulk, journalist, Keith Richards, Mark Twain, missiles, North Korea, nuclear holocaust, Philadelphia, President, putt, Republic, Republican, Russia, Shakespeare, tantrum, tattoo, Trump, Trump's healthcare plan, Twitter, vote, Wall, Washington, White House, wiretaps, wolves
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Why do I need a prescription to get stuff that will make me healthy, but I don’t need any sort of permission for stuff that will kill me? Hmm… When religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, we mistake medicine for magic. Yet, medicine has its dark side – like death…
Unless you get lost from time to time you can never find yourself. And the other day I got ‘lost’ while biking in an unfamiliar part of the city. And I finally found myself at a Rite Aid pharmacy… with … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Acme, alcohol, attitude, Banks, beer, Big Pharma, bourbon, burgers, chemotherapy, cigar, cigarette, coffee, condoms, convenience, cure, diet, doctor, donuts, drive-thru, emails, exercise, fast food, Hillaary, insurance, liquor, marijuana, medicine, New England Journal of Medicine, Pakistani, Pennsylvania, pharmacist, Pisa, prayers, prescription, President, Presidential, Rite Aid, SUV, technology, The Donald, tobacco, tweets, viagra, Wallgreen, whiskey, wine
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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence and insanity to anyone, but it sure works for me. And with this Presidential election the risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. I have my serious doubts about The Donald. But I seriously doubt I could ever vote for Hillary…
Having spent many of my formative years in my grandmother’s ‘brothel’ I thought I had seen or heard just about everything a mouth could do. Obviously that was before I saw and heard the ‘doings’ from the mouths of Hillary … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Big Pharma, Bill Clinton, birth certificate, blue collar, Clinton, computer, Democrat, Democratic National Convention, disneyland, drugs, e-mails, hairdo, Hillary, House of Cards, Lithium, Obama, pantsuits, President, Republican, Reublican National Convenetion, suits, techies, The Donald, transgender, Trump, Washington D.C.
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Being on steroids makes you manic. Being in bed too long makes me horny. And I’ve been in bed on steroids for 10 days. So I am bloody nuclear! And here is what I figured out to do to save ourselves… and America: Maybe I ought to run for President — like just about everybody else. So pray for me…
Back a few too many decades ago when I was about four, I lay dying in a hospital bed in a small mill town. For weeks. The docs had absolutely no idea what was wrong. Nevertheless, they did what they … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, beg, Ben Carson, Big Brother, Big Pharma, business, candidate, capitalism, Chinese, corporation, Detroit, doctor, dominatrix, Doubting Thomas, fat, football, General Motors, government, Great Depression, guns, Harvard, heart, holocaust, Imelda, Jewish, LGBTQ, marriage, money, nerve, NFL, prayer, President, Princeton, sciatica, Stanford, steroid, TV, wife, World War II
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The reason I don’t own a gun is that I would use it… often. The reason liberal Sean doesn’t own a gun is because he ain’t right in the head. The reason neo-con Louie doesn’t have a gun is just too convoluted. Hmm… Most of ‘neutral’ Switzerland owns a gun or two, and they barely have any crime… No shit!…
We all agreed: Something has got to be done. Oy-vey-iz-mir. Trouble is we couldn’t agree on just what that something was. Sort of like Congress. We were enemies… instead of folks with merely different intellectual points of view trying to … Continue reading
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Tagged American, armed forces, Baptist, Ben Carson, catholic, Congress, Custard, Diocese, guns, Hitler, Jewish, Jews, liberal, Mexican, Nazis, Philly, pope, President, South Philly, Switzerland
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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…
During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading
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Tagged America, Americans, Arizona, bail, baseball, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, catholic, CIA, Congress, Democrats, Donald Trump, elephant, football, gay, George W. Bush, Hanoi, Hilton, hog, horse, Huffington Post, jackass, Jewish, John McCain, Laos, lawyer, lesbian, LGBT, Mexicans, New York, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Philadelphia Phillies, pig, politically incorrect, politician, President, racist, Ralph Nader, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Saudi, Senate, sex, stupid, Supreme Court, TV, Veteran Hospital, Veterans, Vietnam, Washitgon Nationals
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Potty training is supposed to happen at home. So why is the government, the police, our lawyers and our courts still shitting on us in public? If everybody forgets to tell the truth what is the purpose of the police and witnesses. And if the courts forget its purpose is to reform as well as punish, then why this charade? Obviously we need to spill blood… because sad people remember the laws of G-d and man more than happy ones…
The other Thursday I decided to have a real-old-fashion Thanksgiving celebration — like the Pilgrims and the Indians. So I prepared a feast for my neighbors and friends. We ate. We toasted. We consummated with a few squaws. And then … Continue reading
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Tagged :Pilgrims, African, Americans, Arab, Asian, CIA, Cleveland, Daniel Pantaleo, Eric Garner, Eric Holder, Ferguson, Grand Jury, ham sandwich, Indians, Irish, Jewish, justice, Justin Damico, king, Michael Brown, Pennsylvania Supreme Court, President, racism, racists, Spanish, Spanish Inquisition, Staten Island, Thanksgiving, torture, toy pistol, U.S.Attorney General, U.S.Congress
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Will somebody please inform me who is in charge these days? Because I’m ready to follow Joan of Arc. At least women and children seem to accept that uncertainty is part of the taking charge process. Nobody claimed it isn’t hard to lead a cavalry charge — especially if you think you look funny on a horse.
As more than one disillusioned idealist has uttered: If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand. But my trouble is finding out just who is in charge … Continue reading
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Tagged Afghanistan, Agent Orange, American, Army, CIA, Colorado, Congress, congressmen, Democrat, Harvard, healthcare, Iraq, ISIS, Joan of Arc, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Lincoln, Martin Dempsey, military, Mosul, NCAA, NFL, Northwetern University, Osama bin laden, Pakistan, politically correct, post traumatic stress, President, Re;ublican, Republican, Robert O'Neill, Sahara Desert, San Francisco, SEAL Team Six, Senate Armed Services Committee, senator, Somalia, stoned, U.S., Veteran Hospital, Vietnam, White House, Yemen
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Since we already know that everybody lies, why do journalists risk their lives to tell us what we already know? Because that’s what we do. And we’d do it even if we weren’t getting paid to tell you that you are stoopid, ignorant and foolish. Because it is so much fun, even after the deadline…
The question being shrilly postured and posed today in the horrendous wake of yet two more journalists being beheaded is: Why do reporters take such risks? And I have a simple answer: Because everybody lies. Everybody. It is almost failsafe … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 1984, 911, Afghanistan, America, beheading, bernstein, Clinton, correspondents, danger, deadline, Ferguson, Germany, handicap, ISIS, Jaes Foley, journalists, Kerry, lies, New York Times, NFL, NSA, Pentagon Papers, President, reporters, Russia, Snowden, Steven Sotloff, Titanic, truth, turkey, TV, USA Today, Woodward
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